Friday, 30 October 2009

Where is the Love?

Every time I see an elderly couple holding hands, laughing or just plain enjoying each other's company, I feel really happy. I get a little teary eyed even, especially now when my hormones are all messed up.

I wish we would still be laughing and having fun when we are 60. Just like watching the first 10 minutes of the animated movie Up! Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Not all old couples are so loving after a few decades. Even couples who are together for just a decade aren't that into each other anymore. Do people just grow apart after a while? Does it really take a lot of work and effort just to make love work? Personally, it should really be effortless, because it is love! Like you wouldn't mind the strange quirky habits, and in some unexplainable way, you love those habits secretly because they make your partner who he or she is. My friend once said, I am not complaining about the chores I do daily, because I am in love and I am doing it willingly. I couldn't agree more. I suppose I would be really whining about it if I didn't love him all that much. So, in that sense, I don't feel that it is a lot of effort. ALTHOUGH IT IS STILL NICE IF HE ASKS ONCE IN A WHILE IF HE CAN GET ANYTHING DONE FOR ME.

Like how it isn't much effort to shop for a present for him, or how it isn't too much effort to come up with new stuff we can do together. Like how I enjoy waking up and making breakfast for him on some mornings when all I want to go is to sleep in. It is in the state of mind when you do such things. If you are happy, you won't feel like it is a lot of work. If you are doing some stuff grudgingly, then it becomes a chore and then it feels like you have to put in a lot of effort.

I wonder if I am making any sense to anyone at all.

Can't Sleep Again

I can't sleep last night again. Tried to sleep at finally I think I fell into slumber at about 4am. It wasn't deep slumber though, I was half dreaming and half sleeping. I dreamt that I was in labour and my water broke and I wet my bed. I kept waking up to check that that wasn't really happening. I told myself, no no I can't go into labour yet, I still have things I need to do!

It all boils down to anxiety methinks. Thing is, I am not really that anxious at all. Lately I have been having really vivid dreams. I dreamt that she was colouring with my mum. I can even remember they were using different shades of pink crayons. Then I dreamt that I have given birth but we have forgotten to take any photos! Few months back, my sister dreamt about her niece too. She told me that she was bathing her. Even my brother had dreams. He dreamt about me blogging about her birth, dreamt about the day and time some more! Like that you say power or not?

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Missing being Pregnant already

I think I will miss having the baby bump. I will miss feeling her squirm and kick. Fortunately for me, the whole pregnancy has been pretty comfortable and enjoyable. I think I will miss being pregnant.

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Why I do not Work

I do get asked if I get bored staying at home all the time ever since I stopped working. Some asked what I do at home. Some people assume that I have a tai tai lifestyle. I never really have an answer when people asked me. This is my story, and hopefully, the questions will stop.

It happened at about the time when we were flat hunting. At that time, I was working full time as a preschool teacher. Most people think it is a fun job without it being too demanding. Let me tell you now that it is not. I am not paid well, and I start work at 7am to 3pm. I don't really have a proper lunch break. Most times it is just 15 minutes during the kids' nap time. After that, I will try to pack their bags, straighten out the classroom and try to do some lesson plans. Most times, I wouldn't be able to finish my lesson plans during the short time while the kids try to sleep. Because, there will be kids who wouldn't sleep and I will have to tend to them. So off I go at 3pm. I will rest a little at home, have dinner, most times at home and then meet The Husband. We would go out and have some coffee and then when I am back, I will start preparing materials for lessons or continue with my lesson plans. It was really hectic and I had no life to speak of for the time I was at that preschool. I had no time for anyone, I didn't meet my friends much and all I could think of was work.

It clearly wasn't very healthy. I stayed up the whole night one day, preparing lessons and a birthday card for The Husband. He was upset that I wasn't getting enough rest. He was feeling bad that I did that just for him. Halfway through flat hunting, I quit my job. At that point, I needed to choose - work or a life. I was about to start a new life soon, I didn't want to miss out in anything. Clearly, The Husband was feeling a little sad seeing that I have to work so hard. With a new flat coming, we need to plan for the wedding. All that took time, and it was only logical that I quit and be the main person coordinating all the work that needed to be done.Besides, us moving to Bukit Batok means that it is really silly to work in the preschool that is situated in Seng Kang.

I did think about going back to work after the moving in and the wedding. It is nice to work, I enjoyed working, even when it gets a little hectic. In the beginning, I worry about losing myself, if I stayed home and become a housewife. I miss having my own money to spend. It was a little hard taking money from The Husband and spending it. Just not that shiok, you know what I mean?

Slowly but surely, I got rid of those feelings. I love being a housewife. I love just doing the chores and then have some time on my own to indulge in my past times. I can bake when I feel like it, go out for walks, go to the museums when they are empty, read, think about what to cook for dinner, do my handicraft things, do up the house, go out and take some photos, be on the internet blogging and surfing randomly. All the things that I had no time for, I have the time now. I do the chores so The Husband doesn't have to when he comes back and we can have the evenings spending time together talking and doing whatever we like, instead of doing the chores. I know myself a lot better than I care to admit, but if I have to work, I will still insist of a home that is almost spotlessly clean. That means, evenings will be spent doing chores instead of just chilling out. So me staying at home works best for us. I am happy doing what I am doing now and he is happy being the only one bringing home the bacon. Should I ever want to go back to work one day, he will definitely be more than happy and supportive of me.

I always wanted to be a full time mum, and if I work, I will need to quit when the baby comes along. It is hard to quit when you are taking care of and teaching preschoolers. The emotional attachment to the kids makes it really hard for you to say goodbye.

I still think a bit more than I used to when it comes to spending money. I don't buy myself expensive things, except for camera lenses. I am hankering for a Sigma 30mm f1.4 and a macro lens! I don't have a tai tai lifestyle. I don't have afternoon teas with friends, (well, only sometimes) nor do I pop into spas or salons for treatments every week.I don't shop for clothes often. But man, I have all the time in the world to do my own stuff. And that is coming to an end in a month's time.

Books List

These are the books that I really need to buy. I do not know why it too me so long to want to get The Cake Bible. The recipes are really good and most times, I get the recipes from friends who have the book. I am being really cheap, and I thought I really should get the book already and stop being a cheapo.

I love making bread, the kneading is really therapeutic, and the kitchen smells wonderful when you are baking bread. I might just get the Bread Bible too. Heavenly Cakes is the new book. I saw it in Kinokuniya few days ago, retailing at 70 bucks! ARGH. I think that one can wait.



Not a lot of fiction books that I really want to buy. The one fiction that I will get is the new book titled Nocturnes by Kasuo Ishiguro. Nothing on the Booker Prize shortlist this year appeals to me. I think I just need 2 hours to browse the fiction section and I will be able to find books that I want to read.

Do you think Kinokuniya will laugh at me if I call up and ask when their next sale will be?

Not Enough Time

I realised that I have just another month before I pop and Christmas is just 2 months away! Now I am really starting to feel that I have not enough time to get everything that I want done. I hope Kinokuniya comes up with the 20% sale soon! I really need to get my hands on some books.

Gotta start on the Christmas cards.

Gotta do more Christmas shopping. I think I have a feeling I will be buying a few items online. Especially for the Christmas party and maybe some gifts.

Gotta start packing that hospital bag soon. I hate having to think about it all the time. Pack it now and I can just ignore it til I need it.

Gotta start washing up those few milk bottles soon too. I hope to be breastfeeding exclusively, so I don't think I need them, but JUST IN CASE. I decided to get a economical manual breast pump since I will be around The Little One almost 24/7. No need for expensive electric ones. Those make me feel like a cow anyway.

Gotta get the windows clean soon. They are really getting very filthy.

Gotta sort out my recipes soon too. They are scattered all over the place. Need to compile them into one neat file or book.

Gotta put up the Christmas tree soon. She will be welcome back home with a tree greeting her. Not like she will know what is going on anyway. It just makes me feel that bit happier.

Gotta remind The Husband to call up the private cord blood bank before it is too late.

Whatever books that are still here with me, I will try to return all of them to my friend. It has been 2 years. Gosh, and some of them are still sitting in my storeroom. My friend has a book collection to rival the National Library.

Squeeze in some more dinners or teas with my closest friends before I pop. I don't think I will see them too much, as often as I like in the near future.

Gotta send Em some Japan-related links.


So much to do, as soon as we know it, The festivities will die down a little and Chinese New Year will be upon us!

Saturday, 24 October 2009

More Furniture

She seems to have more storage space than I do now. I left a drawer free for the confinement lady and the rest are for her. One for the extra wet towels, extra toiletries, toys and things she doesn't need now. Surprisingly, her clothes barely take up 2 drawers, with some breathing space in between. The other drawer is for linen, like bedsheets, extra pillows, washable diapers and towels.

I am glad to have my space back, I will still leave a little space for her clothes so we do not have to run to her drawers for all the daily neccessities everyday. So now everyone's happy! I hope the drawer top stays as neat as this in the future. Something tells me that it will not.

Crib

The baby cot has been in the study since the day it arrived more than a week ago. One fine evening we tried moving it into our room to see how it fits. To our horror, it looks HUGE in our room! It is so big that it seems to overshadow our own bed and mind you, our bed in a king size one. Somehow we have overestimated the size of our bedroom or underestimated the size of the cot. There is still room to move about, just didn't expect it to take up so much space. It certainly didn't look quite as overwhelming in the study when it first came. It will definitely take a some time of getting used to when the cot is finally in the room. With a huge cot, we will try to get her to sleep in her own room as soon as we can!

Xmas Pressies

Christmas is certainly early this year. At least to me. I am not feeling especially Christmasy yet, and I think it is due to the weather. Just as I have mentioned, I have started on the Christmas present shopping early, I have 2 wrapped up already and it is not even November!

Library Starter Kit

Do you know that you can get a starter kit for your baby from the library? It contains a baby journal, a height chart, a book record card as well as a CD with songs and poems! I didn't know til we went to the library today and saw it on display and asked for a set. I am going to enrol her to be a member as soon as I can get my hands on her birth certificate!

Happiness


is a huge chocolatey mess.

Friday, 23 October 2009

Teh Peng


All I wanna drink NOW is a nice icy cold teh peng on a hot and humid day like this.

Frantic Times

The past 2 weeks had been crazy. A lot of cleaning and washing to welcome the newest member of the family. The laundry is enough to kill me! Bedsheets, her new clothes, new cloth diapers and whathaveyous. And I am not done yet. I think my nesting instincts have kicked in. I have been trying to clean as much as I can, trying to get the house in perfect order. It is tough and sometimes a little upsetting since I am not able to do as much as I used to and I want to do so much!


Then there is the last minute buying. The cot has arrived, and so have the pram and the car seat. The Husband had a really frustrating time trying to put together the pram. It was another frustrating time for him when he tried to secure the car seat in the car.


The frustrated dad finally succumbed to reading the manual.

Monday, 19 October 2009

Packing for Delivery

When I had 2 more months to go, someone asked if I had packed for the hospital stay. I was like, isn't that a little bit kiasu? I thought the dude was joking, apparently he wasn't. He said in a slightly serious tone that we ought to be get that bag ready.

So now, with 5 more weeks to go, I have yet to pack. I haven't given much of a thought yet, and maybe I should soon. My plan was to pack on The Day itself, at least I have something to distract me from the contraction pains. Then I start to suspect that I would want to clean up the home when I am having contractions and there would be too many things to do! Plus, of course I wouldn't want to pack in a hurry and leave anything out.

So what to pack for the hospital? I have no clue, other than maybe clothes and toiletries. I am certain that I will want to have a book with me too. I came out with a list, I hope I am not over packing.

Hospital appointment card.

Our NRICs.

A book. I was quite set on Louis Theroux, now I may want to read Kazuo Ishiguro instead. Maybe I will bring both. ARGH.

Pen and paper. In the event that I need to ask the doctor or nurses some questions and they are not available then. Also maybe the names of the people who will take care of me when I am there, so I can send them a thank you card after that.

Camera with extra battery fully charged. Got to make sure there is a memory card in it as well!

My own set of toiletries.

A pair of slippers for walking around in.

Change of clothes for me, The Husband and The Little One. Must remember her receiving blanket, mittens and booties. I may need extra nursing bras and er breast pads. Maxipads are IMPORTANT! I am thinking of getting some disposable panties too. Oh and a couple of extra diapers for her just in case.

My hand phone. Must be fully charged. I am thinking of telling my family only after I have popped. I have 4 siblings, all pretty gan cheong, since this will be the first time for all of them to be uncles and aunties, they will be calling constantly and what if I am having one of those awful contractions??????? Then again, I will be too excited not to not tell them. They just need to promise me to be patient and wait for news from The Husband. First grandchild some more leh, on both sides. There is a private number in every delivery room, but I doubt I will give out that number to anyone at all.


A watch to time my contractions.

Some snacks for me after delivery. Like cereal bars, nuts, dried fruits, cream crackers, milo and chocolates. For The Husband too, so he doesn't go hungry together with me.

Am I packing too much stuff? Did I leave anything out?

Sunday, 18 October 2009

It is finally done!


And it would be in her room. I procrastinated and procrastinate some more before I finally finish it up. It was meant for someone else, but now, somehow, I don't think it is so suitable. I did another one for that person and will keep this for The Little One instead.

Big Breakfast Sundays


Usually breakfasts are the lightest meals for us. Cereals, a sandwich, some yogurt or tomatoes, milk, juices or coffee. Sometimes we will indulge and go to Coffee Bean for a breakfast before he goes to work. We have not done the noodle breakfast in a while now, or the economical bee hoon. That one isn't the healthiest thing to eat, but sometimes you just need some comforting, albeit a little trashy and greasy.

On Sundays, we take our first meal of the day a little more serious. We will talk about what to eat the day or the week before. Most times, it is to motivate us to get up a little earlier on Sundays so the day will last that little bit longer for us. It is the only day in the week that we indulge in a full English breakfast fry up. We used to do it once or twice at home, but it was a little too greasy to clean up after that. Besides, it is nice to be out, especially when it is nice and sunny on a Sunday morning. There are few things in life that is as enjoyable as such.



We were in District 10 this week. The place is in the old Monk's Hill Secondary School campus where The Husband was a student. I suggested visiting the campus one night while we were doing one of our random cruise-abouts. He got pretty excited when we got there, pointing out his classrooms, and the places to me. The restaurant was where the canteen was, so, wouldn't it be nice to be able to dine in there once again? I had the same feeling when I visited Old School in Mt Sophia last year. I was pointing out my classrooms, pointing out where the stuff were and where my friends and I would be standing and chatting and the nonsense we were up to. It certainly brings back a lot of nice memories. After so many years, we tend to remember the good things and forget the not so good ones.

Happy Deepavali

Happiness



can be found in a cup of coffee.

Daybreak


The only upside to having insomnia and having eyes wide open at dawn is seeing the first light of the day.

Sophie the Giraffe


In case you are wondering what boring present I bought for The Little One, this is it. Sophie is a chew toy and she is made of 100% rubber and food paint, making her completely safe to chew on. Boring gift, but very very safe!

Friday, 16 October 2009

This Way


"This way to your little piece of heaven" they seemed to say.

Pregnancy Insomnia

It is about 630am and I have been awake since 4 this morning. I got up and pee and I have been wide awake til now. The Husband had to be up by 445am today as he would be helping out his friend on his wedding day. The Chinese customary wedding starts really early, especially if you are Teochew. I am glad our wedding is way over and done with. To think that I was telling him that I would be in deep slumber when he wakes up and he would be so so jealous, I ended up making him breakfast instead.

Thursday, 15 October 2009

Happiness








is eating hot cross buns on a rainy day with a hot tea.

Saturday, 10 October 2009

Plain Disgusting

The drink that I had to drink is the most horrible ever. I had to get tested for gestational diabetes and had to down this horribly sweet and warm syrup. Let me tell you, it is almost as thick as sugar syrup!

I do not know if I had a sugar high right after the drink or was I just so sick after it, I had a dizzy spell right after that. I had to sit down for about 10 minutes before I could start to walk. We did think about taking a little walk after the test, but ended up driving to Geylang to get some la piah. How strange to buy la piah right after a glucose test. I wasn't in the mood or state to be walking around. The worse part is, I wasn't allowed to drink any water after that for 2 miserable hours. I fasted the night before the test, did the test and had to tahan 2 more hours! They gave me a little warm water to get rid of the remaining sugared drink that was in my mouth. All I really needed a nice icy cold glass of water. Funny thing is, I never really crave for any sugary stuff before this test, but when I was asked to fast, anything sweet that I saw, I just wanna eat!

The next time I had to visit my obstetrician, I will not eat for at least 2 hours prior. It is a lesson learnt. I wouldn't want to see anymore sugar in my pee and then get an order to down this cup of nastiness again.

Christmas 2009

I just realised that this year, I have to start on the Christmas present buying a lot sooner. The tree will have to be up soon too! I think it will be up early November!

I drew up a pressie list and I have something in mind for almost everyone. :) I need to hurry up and get most of the things just in case I popped earlier than expected. I headed out on Friday and see what I could get, and yes, I got The Little One a little something for Christmas already. The Husband says it is boring and not too fun a Christmas pressie. From now, he will be the one buying all the fun fun presents then.

I am also thinking about the handmade Christmas cards and thought that maybe this year, I will be less ambitious and send out store bought ones instead. I need to plan the Christmas eve dinner too!

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Hindhede Quarry




A little walk before dinner on Sunday. The Hindhede Quarry is where the Bukit Timah Nature Reserve is. Just less than 10 minutes walk from the car park will bring you to the quarry. It is a lot less crowded here than it was in Dairy Farm, though there are loads of people squeezing in a walk up the Bukit Timah Hill just before dinner time. There is a wonderful looking playground along the way to the quarry, a nice place to bring the kids! We have bookmarked this playground already!

Getting my Kitchen Mojo Back


Happiness is mucking around in the kitchen.

I spent almost the entire day in the kitchen last Friday. I am glad that I did that. I miss just getting busy in there, messing about all by myself. In the morning, I did a lemon chiffon glow - which really is a fancier name for lemon chiffon cake really. It turned out pretty alright, though I suspect that I should bake it a wee bit longer. Oh and the night before I made some konnyaku jellies again. The Husband loves those things, so I made those once in a while.


The bottle of grappa was the best thing I could find around the house to balance the cake after it was baked. The last time I baked a chiffon was when I was still in secondary school and I really can't remember having to balance the cake upside down on a bottle of something.




I made dinner too on Friday! A meatloaf with an arugula tomato salad. The only photo I have of the meatloaf is the one above. Not too savoury looking since it is raw. But we had a good dinner last Friday :) Tomorrow I will make madelaines!