I am fallen out from my normal routine, I really need to get my life back on track. So many things have happened and all together at the same time. It started after my trip. My husband's been ill for about a week some 2 weeks back and now my grandma's in hospital. Mum's getting a little insane and tired with some domestic help issues of her own, my siblings, my THREE YOUNGER siblings are certainly not helping her lighten her work load. It is the school holidays now, no wonder my mum's having such a hard time! Sigh, teenagers are so so self absorbed sometimes. And I have a maid in my care for like a week. Aunt's shifting at I really do wish I can help lighten her burden a little. My bro's did a great job helping her though, searching for furniture and all. He can be so sweet at times.
Maybe I am hormonal, but I am feeling a tinge of sadness whenever I visit my grandma in hospital. It gets to me. She is not in any sort of life threatening condition, but it breaks my heart still. I wonder what more I can do than to visit her more regularly. I wish I can see her being happy again. The sense of heavy- heartedness is not just from seeing my grandma in hospital, like I said, maybe I am hormonal.
I started recalling back to the times when I was living with her. She can have quite a temper sometimes, especially when she is stressed and tired. She used to work and still took care of the house. It was only when I knew better that I know how life was like for her. I remember her always giving the drumsticks to my brother because he loves them! And how she would wake me up in time for Sesame Street on Saturdays. I remember her telling us stories at night and come up with some really sarcastic rebukes, some which I still use occasionally and when I do, it makes me think of her.
She would turned the volume of the Rediffusion up after the last transmission at night and when it started transmission again, I would jump up with a startle from my sleep and ran to turn the volume down. It would be 6am and it was my time to wake up and prepare to go to school. She would tie my hair before I go to school and helped my brother with his uniform.
I remembered she used to set her hair in those hair curlers. She had a box of those things, and we used to play with them! hahahahaha! She used to use watermelon skin to rub all over her face after eating the fruit. I think it is more refreshing than nourishing for the skin now when I think of it. It was fun to do it though, I should do it again the next time I have watermelon at home.
My grandma is quite "ang mo" having worked in some ang mo households before. She can conversed and understand english quite well, I used be to so proud at the fact that my granny knows english! Come christmas where we have dinners on the eve, she would make the stuffing for the turkey. I miss her chocolate cakes. I can even almost, almost smell and taste them. They were moist and rich and very very chocolatey, none of those cream stuff! It was drenched with chocolate pure chocolate! And taste the most exceptional when eaten hot from the oven. She used to make pumpkin pies too, but I was too "young" to appreciate things like pumpkins then. It was one of those things that I grouped as "adult food" together with animal innards (still to me are adult food) and marmalade.
She used to eat marmalade at home, and I found it too bitter, though I always has the impression that marmalade was very sophisticated! I still do now, and almost certainly always have some of it in my fridge.
I will visit her tomorrow again, and hopefully, I will find my groove back
