Not Settling

I was talking to The Husband about how people should not be settling for their life partners. People shouldn't just stay in a relationship because they grew to be too comfortable in it. Some stay because they are afraid they wouldn't be able to find anyone else.

Personally I would rather be alone than with someone whom I think isn't totally the one for me. My sis in law was relating this story about her friend last night. The friend married his wife because he thought it was okay to settle for someone who fits 70 per cent of what he was looking for. They have a son now and he is now having an affair. What the hell? If you think the person is not going to totally fit you, please do not commit. It isn't fair to the other person nor is it fair to you too. He isn't the only one. I heard too many similar stories.

I never was one to settle. I learnt not to after my first relationship. Sure, it does make me look like a selfish person, a very un-self sacrificing person who only thinks about myself. Surely, it is one of the few few things we have to be critical about. I do not want to regret and then end up in a messy divorce later. Even if there isn't a divorce, I do not want to be just 70 percent happy, wondering where my soul mate is for the rest of my life. I want to feel happy with my life everyday, even if other unhappy stuff comes up. I want to live my life as how I intended it to be.

Just the other day I was talking to a friend about people who stay in abusive or unhappy relationships. Just between the 2 of us, we had countless of stories to share. Both of us decided that we will never let those things happen to us. Is it because we are too clear headed? Or that we are very unromantic people who are unwilling to sacrifice? Is love truly so blind? Then I realised that as much as we talk about how poor our self esteems are, it is a lot healthier than a lot of people we know.