De Clutter

I never had enough room for everything when I was still living with my family. The amount of stuff that I used to fit into that room of mine is amazing. The Husband was astonished when he saw all the boxes packed with stuff all came from one room.

I admit. I keep plenty of stuff. I keep some for sentimental reasons, some I keep because I always think that I would have a use for them one day. Just one day I will find them useful. Some things are just too cute too give or throw away. I used to clear my stuff once in a while especially when I feel moody. It is like a detox for the soul. I always feel lighter, with some kind of burden being lifted off me. I don't really keep rubbish, most are really erm, useful stuff. Really, how much of those useful stuff do I really need?

I think insecurity makes a person want to have a lot of things around them. It makes them feel safe, adequate. I realised that I have always been like that. When in school, I had all the stationery in my pencil case. Pens of a few colours, pencil, eraser, pencil lead, stapler, staples, hightlighters, correction ink. I have the works. It doesn't help that I love stationery too. Not that the all the multi-coloured pens in world will make me a better student. I sucked at being a student. Most will faint with just a glimpse at my grades. They are atrocious! I did better as an adult student though. Let's leave the story of me as a student to another day shall we? (that sounds like a James Joyce novel..)

Anyway, where was I?

It was the same case at work in pre-school. I have every damn thing with me, or at the school. Heck, I even have a laminating machine. I need to feel well prepared, if not over prepared. It was my way of compensating for my lack of 'talent'. I do overcompensate by a lot. It is such a bad bad habit.

I tried clearing some of my stuff just days ago in order to lift my mood a little. I cleared 2 big bags of stationery and books. Really, how many pencil holders does a person need? How many coloured pencil sets do I need? We left them in the void deck, hoping someone would have better use of them. By the time we got home after dinner and coffee, those bags were gone!

More often than not, we humans need less than we think we do. When we learn to decide which to let go and which are important enough to keep, we might be happier beings. Less clutter, less bad energy. Let us not be consumers being consumed by the sheer load of the stuff that we thought would bring us happiness.