My Greastest Fear

Is turning into an auntie.

I know how totally shallow and silly this may sound, but I will really really detest myself should that day come! I am no fashionista, and I dress down most time, wearing plenty of shorts and tees. PLENTY! BUT I will make sure it is a nice proper tee with proper shorts, all properly ironed. Heck, I even blow my hair. I will never skip my skin care routine. Okay, so I get lazy and skip the moisturising every now and then, but I will make sure my face is always clean before hitting the sack. Hey, I have some auntie traits too! I just don't need to look like one.

Can you imagine going out with messy hair, with tired looking skin, and out of shape tees? WHAT ABOUT MUMMY JEANS????????????? So frightening! I will hate to be caught wearing those hideous things! Every now and then, when I see a mother who is about my age, looking so bad and unkempt, I will always turn to my husband and tell him never ever to let me out of the house looking like that.

Have you seen mothers smelling their babies' asses in public? What is that about? It is totally gross and in-dignified, why can't they just peek into the diapers instead? Does smelling the poop convince mothers more than actually seeing a soiled bottom? What if it was just a fart, has that ever occur to them?

I hate it when mothers think they have the right of way everywhere they go just because they have a baby in a stroller. They have their strollers everywhere, barging around in the supermarkets, in PC shows with their screaming running siblings in toll. I cannot remember how many times I have been shoved and pushed with a supermarket trolley with a baby sitting inside, in supermakets. A lot of these people do not apologise. They feel and behave like it their god damn right. Hateful people! Now that I have warmed up talking about ill behaviours, I have since stopped going to the wet market near my place. Aunties push away, disregard you and dirty you by brushing their marketing baskets or plastics bags against you. I think being the "new bird" and being slightly young puts you at a disadvantage. The grocers too, generally ignores you I got cheated once by the butcher too! I hate it. I never had so much problem in other markets except the one near my place.

I do realise how tough motherhood is, maybe it is tougher than I can imagine. Sometimes I don't think I can be as selfless as a mother should be. A baby will take up most of a mother's time, how could a mother have time do look after herself, even if she has, she might rather spend it catching up on rest. In a way, it is really very easy for me to say that I will never let myself go like that. I may never know until I become a mother myself. I do believe that taking care of yourself means the best for the baby and the family. You look good, you feel good. I do think one's appearance does affect one's esteem and confidence. In order for me to take care of another person, I need to be able to take care of myself first. A child may be your world, but some mothers forget that they are individuals too.