I would tell you now that giving birth isn't as scary as how I thought it would be. I am very lucky, luckier than most people I know.
It started out the night before Labour Day. I had some lower back ache and thought it could be my posture or the way that I sat. I had those aches on and off, so I didn't really think too much of it. We went for a car ride and then stopped for coffee, by the time we got home at past 11pm, the aches were still there, not getting better. I tried writing my journal, but it got a little too uncomfortable, so I head to the bathroom for a hot hot shower. The shower helped a little and I was feeling pretty alright, til I went on the bed and tried to sleep. The aches intensified and I was bleeding a little. We were both a little confused. I had a internal examination done just 2 days prior and my doctor did tell me that I might bleed a little. At about 2.30am I started to feel some cramps in my abdomen, that was the time that we really suspect that I was experiencing some contractions. We decided to rest at home and head to the hospital in the morning. I don't know why I wasn't panicking, I was feeling all calm. I have been feeling this sense of calmness for 2 weeks before Labour Day. Anyway it would be pointless to go so early, since nothing could be done if I hadn't dilate much. I didn't really sleep at all, with the cramps intensifying as time went by. The Husband slept through the night, snoring a little some more! And I thought he would be one of those gan cheong types who won't be able to sleep when the wife is having contractions.
We got up early and showered and just before we head out to the hospital, I wanted to lie down a little bit more. Hot showers really do help relax muscles! I was feeling better and we nap for about an hour or so more. Reaching the hospital at about 9am, I was told that they would observe me for about an hour before deciding if I was really in labour or not. I was in the observation room for barely 10 minutes that some nurse decide that I need to be wheeled to the delivery suite immediately. There were some talking going on among the nurses and I was getting a little worried. I overheard a nurse saying low lying placenta and that got me worried. Nobody bothered to tell me what was going on, they just wheeled me to the delivery suite.
My doctor came soon to see me and surprise surprise! I was told that I have dilated 5.5cm! We were more than halfway there! She was pretty amazed that I was able to talk and laughed at this point, plus, walking all the way up from the basement car park still!
Since she thought my threshold for pain must be pretty high, she was quite confident that I can do without an epidural. I of course chickened out and ask for it. Let me tell you, epidurals are instant pain reliefs! The minute I was given it, I no longer could feel my back aches and cramps! AMAZING! I had been tahan-ing the pain for the entire night, I think I do deserve some kind of pain relief and since I do not know when the baby will decide to come out, I wanted to have some rest before the finale.
Baby came just over an hour since I was given the epidural. Wah lau, I barely used half of it! But that hour, I rested well. I had this incredible sensation to push down and thought it could be my bladder, after all, I was on my second bottle of drip. Quite a lot of pee you know! The nurse came to draw the pee and still I had the sensation to push. I told the nurse that, and I can see that she started to panic a little. She kept telling me not to push, do my breathing exercise. Don't push, take deep breaths!
That was it, it was time to deliver. Suddenly there were more nurses and my doctor came. It was just 1130am! I thought she would come out during tea time! I was totally caught unprepared and when they told me to push, I didn't know how! The first few pushes went pretty badly, the nurses and the doctor said I am not pushing right. I am pushing with my face, not my lower abdomen. I rested after one of the contractions and tried to remember my ante natal class. Finally I was pushing right, I didn't know how many times I pushed, everything just happened so fast! She came out fast too. I was so worried about her being stuck in the birth canal that I did tried to push as hard as I humanly can.
I couldn't begin to describe how I felt when she arrived. I loved being pregnant, having her inside me, feeling all her movements. I fantasise about the things we would do together, the late night feeds, the crying, how different our lives would be. The moment she came out, along with the extreme happiness that I felt, I too, felt a tinge of sadness. I miss being pregnant almost as soon as she was delivered.
It seemed to take the nurses forever to clean her up and clean me up! Let me tell you, since the delivery took just half and hour, I wasn't properly numbed down there and I could feel it when the doctor started to stitch up my wounds. Most people don't feel it, but I seemed to feel most of the stitching!
The best part of all, was the moment I held her in my arms and start to feed her. Nothing can beat that.
Only someone who knows me well will get this baby for me. Thank you so much! I feel so bad when it comes to getting you gifts. How I wish I know you better.
